Hate this shit.

I have begun to dread going to school. It seems everywhere I go, at any one time, someone is there to do something to piss me off. I just feel like staying home all day to study in peace. I actually used to enjoy going to school in J1. not so much anymore. I know it's me. Everyone's being their usual self, it's just me who's changing, becoming this obnoxious foul-mouthed bastard, who explodes at the smallest things. I am aware of my shortening fuse, and I hate it. I can't do anything to stop myself from getting angry. I used to be happy all the time, in Primary and Secondary school. Perhaps the stress and lack of sleep is catching up to me. I think guitar was the only thing that was keeping me sane during J1 and the earlier part of this year. There's no guitar anymore, and I have yet to buy a new set of strings for my guitar. Let's just get this over with, here's hoping that it will all be over soon.

Once upon a midnight dreary...

Long time no post. Very very long time. Half out of boredom, half out of reluctance to FINISH MY DAMNED BIO HOMEWORK TO BE HANDED IN ON TUESDAY OR SOME CRAP LIKE THAT, I have decided to revive my blog, by now covered under probably an inch of dust, dead skin cells and otherworldly particles.

Though so long has passed, there still isn't that much to talk about, or maybe it's just that i'm tired and sleepy. Tis' the exams, they are taking their toll on me, even though I've already taken 3 days off, I've sorta lost the stamina to study. Just feel like sitting around and idling, stare at stuff, go to facebook every 15 minutes although I know nothing is happening, PLAYING FRIGGEN TETRIS on facebook. I'm getting tired of this shit, yet I musn't. And yet, after all this crap is over, after the A's, what am I going to do? my past 3 years were devoted very much significantly to studying, day to night, then wake up the next morning, rinse, cleanse, repeat Ad Nauseum. I still refuse to sleep during the day, and I do not wish to break my track record of approximately 14 years without sleeping in the day. As tired as I feel these days, I refuse to sleep during the day. Call me crazy all you want, I aint wastin' time on snoozing when there's good stuff to be doing.*looks at earlier part of the paragraph*

Just done with the prelims, they were horrible, but better than SA1. Dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing. 2 months to A Levels, whoopee. I'm probably still not going to be getting any A's for prelims, and this worries me to hell. On the other hand, I have been hanging out with excellent company, be it my awesome study partners or good ol' VS guys. We might just pull through. Might. Looking forward to a breath of fresh air at the end of the year. Then NS. Horrible horrible NS. My friends say i'll gain weight and buff up in NS. I'm not so sure.

I've been thinking a bit about religion, Christianity and all that jazz. I'm still uncertain about the whole shebang. I acknowledge that there might be some godly being out there, yet Science tells me otherwise. I've been going to church with some friends, to try to answer some of my questions. It's been interesting, enough for me to return weekly. Besides, gives me an excuse to study afterwards, as of today, I remain an agnostic. I do detest people who promote atheism because they think they're "cool" as the odd one out, I hate them with a passion. While they do have a right to spread their views to others, please get the fuck out of my face if I tell you to. I've heard and read about many theories and arguments, and they do hold water. I find all this fascinating and intriguing but i'd like to make my own decision and come to my own conclusions, thank you very much. I will choose what to accept and what not to accept, and I will give you a piece of my personal mind if you do not comply. AAANYWAY, i'll keep my mind open, and see what comes.

Should I or should I not go back to bio?

TEST

HAI TEST POSTLOLOLOL
OL

No more guitar

Well, that's that. As of yesterday, the reign of TPGE08-09 ended, and everybody not-so-happily returned home to mugging for their respective exams.(preceded only by much needed sleep). As I put away Guitar no. 12 into its hard case for the last time, I realised that I wouldn't be the next person to take it out again. It was a poignant scene. With 2 of the girls crying away beside me, I kissed the case and patted it goodbye, and haltingly walked out of the guitar room. I wanted to go back in, but decided to distance myself away from the room as quickly as possible. The damn SYF sticker is still on the guitar. Should have taken it off. Last night, I played through all of our pieces once again, and it was kind of difficult not to notice the emptiness in the songs, the lack of a melody, or accompaniment. I won't be playing with the ensemble again for a loong time. Though we will still see each other in school, we will not be producing music together, and it makes all the difference. 

We'll see what happens.

-

It's been a long long time since I last cried. My grandma's returning to Hong Kong tomorrow morning while I go off to school as per normal. She's so old, and she knows it. I can't bear to imagine what it would be like without her around. This is very probably the last time she's in Singapore to visit, hopefully it's not the last time I ever see her again. The post ends here. Any more of this and i'm gonna cry again.

SYF 2009

Well, TPJC Guitar Ensemble got Silver this year.

2007:Gold with Honours

2009:Silver

sounds like a world of difference doesn't it? For months we worked our asses off. I'm sure that my "lack of ass" has become even more scarce by now. ACJC got Gold, congrats and good job to you. We were always on par, perhaps you finally outplayed us today. SAC got Gold as well. I'm not so happy about this one. I'm sure that anyone who has heard SAC play will agree that it IS gold with honours material, and then some funny-sounding neighbourhood school comes and steals the title away. MJC got Gold as well. Granted, they did play fairly well, but i'd say they do not play as well as ACJC and SAC. If MJC deserved to get a gold, TPJC deserved to get a gold as well. I hope that it wasn't their fancy expensive pregnant bass guitars that gave them the title.

Ah well. Too bad there's no next time.

TPGE

That's me right on top of everyone else. Obviously I'm not THAT tall. I tiptoed :D